ChChChChanges
by partypants08
Summary: What if you could go back and fix the mistakes of your past? For our favorite BFFs, a trip to the bar turns into an opportunity. Will they change the course of their histories? WARNING: Sort of a CRACKFIC, but still funny in a good way. READ & REVIEW!
1. Chapter 1

_**Hey hey hey! I'm baaaack! Okay, I'll admit: I lost my mojo to finish "Lost & Found". However, I just got sick and sort of dreamed up another funny spoof of some sort. I won't tell you what my muses were, but let's just say it's going to be HILARIOUS; I've been on cold medicine & the semester's almost halfway through, so put two and two together and you have THIS. Anyway, a few words of caution:**_

_**There are a few minor spoilers for season 6, but if you've seen the episodes, you have nothing to worry about**_

_**This isn't meant to be taken seriously…IT'S A CRACKFIC!**_

_**For this story, I have House & Wilson around the same age and attending the same college, having been college roomies Michigan. Just so you know.**_

_**I don't own anything except my laptop and the cold medicine that contributes to my humor. **_

_**Let's get started!!**_

_Scene 1: House's Office_

_After a long, hard day (that's what she said!), House is moping at his desk._

_*Wilson walks in*_

Wilson: You look even more depressed than usual, House. Did you get syphilis from one of your hookers? Have another depressing storyline?

House: Nah, that was all last year, remember? It's just been a rough day.

Wilson: Oh. What happened?

House: Don't play dumb with me, Wilson. You know what I'm talking about.

Wilson: You mean….? Yeah, okay, I know. But how did you?

House: As the gossip queen of the hospital. You should know that word travels fast around this hospital.

_**FLASHBACK** PPTH clinic_

Cuddy: Hey, Wilson, have you seen House around today? I feel like he's been avoiding me since he found out about me & Lucas.

Wilson: you mean, since you LIED BY OMISSION about your relationship with Lucas? No, Cuddy, I haven't seen him today.

Cuddy: I didn't lie, Wilson. I just didn't…

Wilson: …didn't tell him the whole truth?

Cuddy: *sigh* okay, fine, I lied. I was just trying to protect him.

Wilson: Look, he doesn't need you to protect him. He's doing a lot better since coming out of Mayfield. You'd be surprised what he can handle

Cuddy: I know, and I'm sorry for that. If you see him around, would you tell him that I feel badly for how everything happened? Him walking into my hotel room at the conference and finding Lucas there wasn't how I wanted him to find out about us.

Wilson: Fine, but you really should tell him yourself.

_*the door opens, and Lucas comes in*_

Lucas: Hey, Lisa!

Cuddy: Lucas! *gives him a hug*

Lucas: Look, I don't have a lot of time, but I can't go on with my day without asking you a very important question…

Wilson: (Oh, shit.)

Lucas: …will you marry me?

Cuddy: Oh, shit. Um…uh…yes..?

Lucas: YAY! I win! Uh, I mean…I'm so happy! I love you so much!

*Lucas slides on this really disgusting huge ring on Cuddy's ring finger*

Cuddy: I love you.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Wilson: Shit, shit, SHIIIIT!

Lucas: What was that, Wilson?

Wilson: I…I…I'm …happy…for…you…?

Lucas: that's what I thought.

Cuddy: Thank you, Wilson.

Wilson: I've gotta go save some dying patients now. Bye!

*Wilson flees the clinic and goes up to House's office, where we're brought back into the present*

Wilson: you mean to tell me that it only took you two minutes to find out that Cuddy's engaged?

House: FUCK! Cuddy's engaged?

Wilson: What did you THINK I was talking about?

House: The fact that you were in a porno in med school!

Wilson: WHAAAAAAT?!?! I wasn't in a porno in med school!

House: Really? Because Nurse Jeffrey said he saw you in one.

Wilson: That's wasn't me, that was—hey, wait a minute! We're talking about Cuddy being engaged to that…that..RAT!

House: I can't believe she really moved on. I thought we has something so special last season. Damn you and your hallucinations, David Shore!

Wilson: I can't believe it either. Now I'm going to have to buy a wedding gift. Rats.

House: Whatever. Let's go get wasted or something.

Wilson: Okay!

*House & Wilson skip off into the sunset and head to Sherry's Bar*

_Scene 2: Sherry's Bar, 11:30PM  
Our two favorite BFFs are completely trashed after a few hours at the bar_

House: You know what Wilson? I think I'm just gonna stop looking for women. I mean, I have such bad luck with them. First, I slept with Cuddy, and never called her back. Look how that ended up! Then, I dumped Stacy….TWICE…

Wilson:…and then you had chair!sex with Lydia, and then she went back to her husband…

House:…and then I comeback from Mayfield and my first—no, my ONLY true love—is together with my former P.I.! HAHAHAHAHA!

Wilson: At least your girlfriends didn't die on you. I've had that happen to me TWICE now. TWICE!! Seriously, when is it going to be our turn to be happy?

House: Riight? I don't want to be a misanthrope, and I went to rehab. Don't I deserve a somewhat normal, functional relationship? I know YOU do.

Wilson: I do. But you know what? I think this is karma.

House: What the hell?

Wilson: No, no, hear me out. Do you remember Lindsey? She was the girl I dated before meeting wifey number one?

House: Ohh, yeah! I remember her. Wasn't she Cuddy's friend?

Wilson: Yeah. Anyway, I dumped Lindsey because she was kissing that guy at the party where you & Cuddy hooked up. What was his name…?

House: Dude, I don't even remember. Who cares?

Wilson: I do! Because I found out the day after I dumped her that she wasn't cheating on me with that guy like I thought she was. HE had kissed HER, and she was trying to get away from him. By the time I got the nerve to apologize, she had already moved on. Now she and the guy are married with three kids.

House: *gets out a violin* want me to play a sad, emo song for you? *heads towards the jukebox*

Wilson: Noo! I just sometimes wonder what would have happened if we had stayed together. Would we have broken up eventually? Would WE have gotten married with three kids? Would I have cheated?

House: Yes. What's the point of even asking these questions? It's not like you can do anything about it now anyway.

Wilson: Shut up! Like you can talk. Don't you ever wonder what would have happened If you had called Cuddy back after your one night together?

House: *sigh* Everyday.

Wilson: What? You're confiding your feelings to me?

House: Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol.

Wilson: I bet that if you had called Cuddy, things would be SO different for you right now.

House: I bet that if you had stayed with Lindsey, things would be different for you, too.

Wilson: Maybe. I wish I could go back in time and change everything……*passes out by the jukebox*

House: *whispering* Me too, Wilson. Me too. *passes out*

_Oh, I wonder what will happen. I'm pretty sure you guys can guess ;) LEAVE A REVIEW! :)_


	2. Chapter 2

_**ONE review?! Just one? C'mon, guys, we can do better than this! GO TEAM! Okay, okay, I'll tell you that this story is eventually Huddy. I didn't want to put Lucas in the story, but I had to. Sorry! He'll turn up to look really dumb, though. Anyway, read on…AND REVIEW THIS TIME! **_

_**Additional note: I made House & Wilson a little closer in age for this fanfic, because while the actors are about 10 years apart in age (or something), I find that TPTB are pretty inconsistent with the ages of the docs. So you'll see the changes I made soon enough! Also, I'm trying to write in a 'normal' format instead of a script format. Maybe that way, more people will read…..?**_

_Chapter 2: The Next Morning_

The next morning, House woke up and immediately felt different. He noticed his leg even more than usual, not because of the searing pain…but because of the absence of it.

"What did I do last night?" he thought to himself. "Oh, right. Many shots of tequila, many emotions being talked about. Crap. Now Wilson's never going to let me live it down that I talked to him about my feelings for Cuddy…..that is, if he remembers. I'm feeling good, so he should remember. In fact, I'm feeling TOO good…"

He decided to take advantage of his fortunate (and unusual) well-being by heading to the bathroom without his cane. When he opened his eyes, however, he realized that his room was radically different. Not only was Wilson in the room in the bed across from his, but the seemingly familiar (apartment?) room was decorated with neon colors that House hadn't seen since the 1980s. Wherever he was, it was NOT in his and Wilson's condo!

"Wait a second. This isn't my room! Where am I?!" he screamed. "WILSON! PSSSST! WAKE THE HELL UP! WE'VE BEEN ABDUCTED!"

"djfsdfwgjwhergkrhgjk????" mumbled Wilson

"Duude! Wake freaking up! We could possibly be a part of Foreman's diabotical plan to take over the world!" shouted House.

Wilson picked his head up from his pillow and groggily looked at House in the eyes. "House, it's too early for our BFF shenanigans. Can't it wait until the third chapter?"

"Wilson, I'm totally cereal. We're not in our condo anymore."

Wilson looked around and finally got his bearings. "What the……wait a second. This looks like our apartment from Michigan!"

House looked around and realized that this apartment was an exact replica of their bachelor pad from their college days. He countered, "This is super strange. If I didn't know it was totally impossible and a horrible plot for a crackfic, I'd say we've just gone back to our Michigan days."

"I'm sort of freaked out right now, but I REALLY need to pee. I wonder if the bathroom is in the same place…" Wilson headed to the bathroom, and about thirty seconds later, House heard a girly shriek from the bathroom

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"

"Wilson, what is your damage?" House shouted as he was digging through his pockets for a cell phone

"House…..come here. Look in the mirror," said Wilson in a slight whisper

Despite his confusion, House painlessly walked to the mirror where Wilson was at and found that his appearance had definitely changed. "OH MY GOD, I'M A KID!!!!"

Wilson's suit and tie that he had worn to the bar the previous night was hanging off of his lanky frame, which was enhanced by the boyish looks that have caused him to have his own group of fangirls. House's transformation was even more stunning, as his wrinkles had disappeared and his head full of brown hair. Not a gray hair was in sight for either man, and both looked decades younger than their actual ages.

"House, we're not kids, and this place doesn't just look like our bachelor pad. We're….IN our Michigan apartment. Oh my god, how old are we?"

House, still shell-shocked, stated, "I have no idea, but you look like that guy who killed himself on 'Dear Poets Society'!"

Wilson chuckled. "I got that a lot back in the day, actually. You know what, though? You look like a younger version of the guy with the cane from that television drama….you know, the one who diagnoses people with rare illnesses like you do?"

"Oh wow, I DO!" stated House, still mesmerized by his youthful appearance. "He's so awesome. He and his boss should totally hook up."

"Riiight? Gosh, they have NO IDEA how much they need to hook up. Damn you, writers!!" Shaking his head, Wilson suddenly felt the need to know WHY he looked so young.

"All right, so we know we LOOK younger, and we think we're in our old apartment. Why don't we find a newspaper or something to see if we've like, gone back in time or something?"

House stated, "Time travel? SERIOUSLY? Well, I guess we can't think of any more theories….or can we?!"  
*pulls out a whiteboard*

"House! We don't need a DDX for this. I know we miss the whiteboard this season, but c'mon!"

"All right, all right, just gimme a second!" House walked over to the TV set and turned on the old-fashioned television.

" Good morning, Ann Arbor. Today is Friday, June 3, 1988, and here are today's top stories…"

Wilson's eyes became as big as saucers. "It's 1988? Holy crap, we're back in time! We really ARE young. I'm only 20!"

House began to do the mental math to figure out his age. "I graduated from med school in 1988, so I guess I'm…26? WOW."

" Damn, I can't legally drink. That sucks" Wilson said to himself.

"LOL, I CAN!"

Wilson began to pace the living room and the newscast began to drone on about the developments of the talks of the first President Bush's doings in Washington, D.C.

"Let's back up. How did we get here, and why THIS date? Why June 3, 1988? All I remember from this school year was that I got an F in Organic Chemistry and was put on academic probation."

House laughed loudly. "I still can't believe you failed O-Chem the first time around."

"Shut up, House. Wait…if we're back in time and can change anything, doesn't this mean that I could re-take my O-Chem final? It's the end of the semester…" In the middle of this thought, Wilson and House heard a knock at the door.

*knock knock knock knock*

" Oh, shit. Do we answer the door?" asked Wilson

"Dude, I'm pretty sure it's not the cops or anything, unless Tritter somehow got through the time travel portal with us. I'll open the door." House looked through the peephole where he saw someone REALLLLLLLLY unexpected on the other side.

"KUTNER?!" House screamed. "I'm not hallucinating again, am I?"

"LOLz, no House. I'm really here. Are you going to let me in, or what?" asked Kutner.

Wilson looked stunned again. "Why are you here? I thought you killed yourself last season!"

" I'm your official "I've Gone Back in Time & I Have No Clue Why" Guide. "

"Seriously?!" cried House

"Yup. I was killed off by TPTB because I got a job in the Obama administration. I don't really do anything in there, though, so I do this in my spare time. Ta-da!"

Wilson still looked stunned. "Damn it, House. You must have spiked my coffee again."

"Nobody drugged anybody…at least for now," said Kutner. "The reason I'm here is to guide you to why you're here in the first place. You guys passed out in Sherry's last night, and made a wish by the jukebox. Ring any bells?"

"I remember drinking a lot, then being all emo-pants about my life and wishing that I hadn't broken up with Lindsey in college…" remembered Wilson.

House began to remember pieces of last night, too. "I think I wished I had called Cuddy back." Out of the blue, House began to make that face he makes at the end of each episode when he comes up with the epiphany of the week. Instead of talking, he walked out of the room.

"Damn it, House! You're making that epiphany face again, and you walked out without saying a word…AGAIN. C'mon! Tell me what you're thinking!" cried Wilson.

House returned with a flier in his hand that said "SAY GOODBYE TO THE SCHOOL YEAR WITH OMEGA KAPPA'S END-OF-YEAR BASH! BYOB". Without acknowledging Wilson's presence, House began to think aloud. "If this time travel thing is for realz and I'm not having another hallucination, we've gone back to June, which means it IS the end of the semester….which means parties, which is where I met Cuddy. Wilson, this is why we're here!"

"Correct!" replied Kutner

Wilson, however was completely confused. "HUH?!"

"Do you remember this end-of-year party? This was the party where I met Cuddy & you broke up with Lindsey."

"No freaking way," replied Wilson. "Why in the hell would we go back to this particular party?"

"To answer your initial reaction—way!" said Kutner. " You're here to change your course of history because you two got all emo-pants under the influence and a bored House addict who writes crackfics decided to give you guys a boost by sending you back in time. You're mission is to change your history, but beware that one change in the 80s can drastically change the future…or your present, depending on how you look at it."

"…and you couldn't have just said 'WARNING, DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT!'?" asked House.

"House, shut up," cried Wilson. "What do we do now that we've time traveled? Do we stay in the apartment until we have to go to the party, or do we go to class?"

Kutner looked at House and Wilson with innocent eyes. "That's for you to decide. If you're going to change the course of your history, every decision counts. How much do you want to change from what you remember doing?"

"How in the hell are we supposed to remember what we did on one specific day 22 years ago?" asked House.

"….actually, I think I DO remember everything," said Wilson. "I had an O-Chem exam that day, and I got REAAAAALLLY wasted at that party because I completely bombed it. I think that's why I overreacted to the whole Lindsey thing. You bitched all day because you skipped class because you didn't sleep the night before because I kept you up all night studying. Remember?"

House got another 'epiphany look' on his face. "Ohhhhhhh yeeeeeaaaaahhh! I was bitchy that day, but you kept me up because you kept playing that lame Billy Joel song while you were studying. I swear, that's your emo song!"

Kutner headed towards the door. "Okay guys, I'm now leaving and will say an inspirational quote about how you will change your life for the better and yadda yadda. Peace out, yo!" Kutner left the apartment.

"Okay, then. That was weird. Anyway, I'm going to go take that O-Chem quiz now. I bet I could ace that exam now that I've been a totally awesome oncologist for awhile now." Wilson left the apartment, leaving House to himself to plan his new course of action with his boss. No, his future boss. No, his future lover? His former lover? Gah, this is confusing, especially when you consider the hallucination sex from last season; even though it wasn't real, it was still freaking HOT!!!

"I have no cane in my hand, and no pain to hold me back. Does this mean that I won't HAVE to be a miserable misanthrope for the rest of my adult life? Could I actually BE HAPPY?"

David Shore walked into the room, and looked House square in the eyes. "Nope!" He ran away fast.

"Screw you! I think I'm going to go for a run and be happy! WHEEEEEE!"

House left the apartment in a flash and decided that no matter what, he was going to do whatever it took, he would become 'The Guy With the Happy Ending' rather than 'The Guy Who Has to Die at the End of His Show Because That's the Only Way the Show Could End in a Decent Manner'.

_**I didn't really know how to end this chapter, but I have some good ideas for the next chapter & Wilson's O-Chem exam. Ideas (and reviews!!) are VERY welcome :)**_


End file.
